Published on: 13th June 2024
A father-of-three from Oldham has been given hope for a brighter future following support from a local talking therapies service.
Josh, 33, has shared his story to mark Infant Mental Health Awareness Week 2024. Thanks to the support he received, he feels he’s a better dad and can support his children to get the best start in life.
After becoming anxious about his health and the impact on his life and children, Josh contacted our NHS Oldham Talking Therapies service.
"I'd always assume the worst"
Around four years ago, Josh developed long-covid syndrome. At the time there wasn’t much support or awareness about the condition. This impacted on his mental health and led to him experiencing frequent panic attacks.
He also worried about his children’s health. He said: “Kids get sick all the time. I’d turn to the internet to see what might be wrong and this made things worse. I struggled with their doctors’ appointments and hated waiting for results to come back. I would always assume the worst. I didn’t like them to see me worrying.”
His physical condition meant he was bedbound for months and prevented him from being as involved with his children as he wanted to be. With a new baby in the family, he felt guilty and more anxious as time went on.
Josh had previously enjoyed travelling, but found himself starting to feel out of control, trapped and claustrophobic on public transport. He tried to push himself to get out but ended up being stuck on a tram due to a problem on the line. This led to a severe panic attack, which was the final straw.
"I couldn't breathe"
He explained: “I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t breathe. There was no way out and it just took over me. I knew I couldn’t carry on the way I was.”
He reached out to his GP for help and was referred to the team. He attended regular therapy sessions with Rachael Starkey, cognitive behaviour psychotherapist, where he was supported to understand the challenges he was facing and learn new coping techniques.
He noticed an improvement in his mood and a newfound hope that his life could get better.
He said: “Rachael was so understanding, and I felt listened to. She made me feel at ease and comfortable sharing what I was feeling. There was no judgement.
“My children gave me the focus I needed to truly give this a go; I want to be better for them. The support is helping me control my thoughts and feelings and I’m a lot calmer.
“I know what to do if I start to worry or feel overwhelmed. It’s been so helpful. I’m not exactly where I want to be, but I’m getting there.
“It’s hard to admit that something needs to change. Try not to feel afraid about what others might think. There’s no shame and by the end you’ll probably feel proud that you’ve got the help you need.”
"Real strength"
Rachael (pictured) said: “It shows real strength that Josh asked for help, which can often be difficult for dads. But I’m so glad he did, as he’s made brilliant progress.
“It’s especially important for parents to reach out during the perinatal period, which is from pregnancy through to the child’s second birthday.
“It’s vital children have the best start in life to reach their full potential. And this relies on parents, carers and wider family members feeling supported and being in the best mental and physical health.
“Lots of things can impact mental health, sometimes its little things that build over time. Whatever the reason, we’re here to help.”
Drop in sesssions
Throughout 2024, drop-in sessions for dads, co-parents, and grandads are being held at family hubs across the borough. Click here for details.